Sunflowers

      I think it was last month, I would have to check to see, that this happened.  But I had a dream where God showed me an old boyfriend of mine would come to know Him.  I woke up excited and yet a little leery.  I mean, God usually wants me to get back in touch with people and share something with them when I find this out.  So, I took a minute to ponder it and kind of pushed it out of my mind.  I did not know how this person felt about me anymore...if there were hard feelings...or if I could even find them (though I know that is an excuse because God would let me find them if I was supposed to).  So, I put it out of my mind and told God to bug me if He wanted me to do it.
     And He did.  Chuckles...oh he reminded me.  Not in an all consuming way.  But gently.  I even had another dream a few nights later.  So, I couldn't find him anywhere but on facebook, so I had to create a facebook account in order to get in touch with him again.  I did and he accepted my friend request, thank God.  I thought I was supposed to send him a particular teaching by Andrew Wommack, on the True Nature of God.  But when I offered he declined.  So,  I kept things casual and cool and light and was just honest with him.  I have had a tendency with him to really want to go in depth and be really involved and to even get emotional.  On some level I still look for acceptance from him.  But I think God is showing me some things with that, as well. So I am happy to learn more about myself, as God reveals it to me.  Plus, he is not a bad man, he has a good heart.
     I was just elated when he allowed me to send him a gift for his birthday this week!  I love love love giving!   And yes, people will slap turn you down cold, even if it is for homemade chocolate syrup!  Crazy but true!  So, to find out he really liked the box I sent him and even thanked me for the bible, really made me feel good.  To know I did something right always feels good...like a pat on the back...or a fist bump.  I even got the best compliment I have had in years, too.  So,  I treated myself to some sunflowers.  I bought a small bouquet at Publix...only 3.33, but it brightens my day still and reminds me of the joys of doing what God asks us to do.

I put them in two places so I could see them more often.  The white flowers are some random thing from our garden.

Egypt Has Anti-Obama Sentiment

    See, there is more anti obama sentiment than one might think, if you watch the news.  I do not watch the news.  So, it is really intriguing to find this out.
   Here are some photos from Doug Ross@Journal.

This one is my favorite.  To know they have love for us and can sympathize with our plights, too!

Christians persecuted in Europe

    I had a dream last night that I was in Europe with a lady and we saw signs in an asian man's store and they all said "No Cristians".  There was a large anti-Christian sentiment.  I told my friend not to advertise we are Christians and that we are not supposed to anyways.  Then I scanned her front to see if any of her jewelry was crosses.  It was not.  So we went in to another diner/restaurant and sat down.  It was a mess.  All kinds of plates on the high counter were we sat down.  My friend started to clear them off and dropped a few.  They didn't break.  But I told her to stop.  Doing nice things for people will give them a hint of your believe system as people who do not believe in a living God do not do kind things for strangers.  Scary.
    Then I dreamed about my husband bending back the side view mirror on my car.  I had warned him it was going to happen, and then it did.  I then told him I would not let him drive the car again.
   

Hmm

     There is so much going on in our area of the world now.  It is kind of scary to think about.  All of the things you were brought up believing to be there your entire life...that that is what makes this such a great place to be in.  And then to find them all being taken away so quickly right under our noses and it seems like there is nothing we can do about it all.
     It is cool that it seems  I have a few people in Germany looking at my posts, as my mother in law is German.
     Had a dream about these buses.  You had to pay in order to throw something away on them.  I did not know that in the dream.  So I threw away two pieces of trash..small trash.  And was charged $1.59. Charge popped up on a computer screen above the little recepticle shoot that was next to this seat.  Very weird.  I was shocked.  No one else seemed shocked. These buses were in Atlanta. They were a lot cleaner and nicer than traditional Marta buses they have there.  I got a little money back as I had accidentally overpaid the machine because it registered the money in a strange way and it took a minute to tally up what  I put in there.  I just threw a bunch of change in it.  I did not count it.  That is different.  They looked like a cross between a bus and a car on the outside.  The back of the buses swooped down...aerodynamically.  They were fast.  But I chased one down as I had gotten left at a stop and was trying to get back on the bus because I was not yet where I needed to go yet.  I had to run down and then up to get to the bus.
   

4 Things

    I had a dream the night of the 24th where God showed me 4 things that could distract me from my following His calling on my life. Things that are cares of this world that choke the word.  The two I remember are these.  One was a man who was talking with me.  He spoke matter of factly with me.  He let me know what he was willing to give me, in terms of a relationship with me.  He would not do certain things because they were sinful.  I remember that he was willing to give me many things and that surprised me because he had not slept with me yet. I was surprised by his willingness to be kind and love me in those ways without getting that from me.   This man was muscular with long blonde hair.  But not girly.  He was very masculine.

     The second one was a man who was all about cooking.  He wanted me to meet Ming from Simply Ming.  He had shrimp to give him.  He dropped a few, maybe 4, on the floor.  I went under the table to pick them up for him, without him asking.  This man was overweight and had short brown hair and glasses.

      I then saw a shape divided into 4 squares and something in each one.  Then I woke up knowing that I was letting the things of this world distract me from God's Word, and I needed to take my class!  So I repented and first thing in the morning took my first lesson in my class.  It was mindblowing and really an amazing lesson, too!  I am so thankful God reminded me to get back on track.  Thank you God!  I am so sorry for letting cooking, and the cares of this world take over my life.  I come back to you humbly and ask you to keep me on track and help speed me along in passion and fire for you Lord as you mold me and make me usable for your will.

Tornadoes

     I had a dream the other night about possible tornadoes hitting extreme north Lauderdale county in Alabama.  This is right on the AL and TN state lines.  In the dream a man was showing me in black on the map where tornadoes might occur there.  I pray that they do not happen.  If they do, I pray no one gets hurt.  It is not heavily populated there.  But still.

Aha

     As someone at my meeting today said, we all have 'aha' moments.  Today I realized that I have some real issues stemming from my needs not being met as a child, teen, and adult.  I have issues, especially with men in my life.  My parents always put my dad's addictions first.  My needs were always put last it seemed.  Like I could never eat as much as I wanted of meat because my dad would get upset if he didn't have enough.  Well, that is what my mom taught me at an early age.  She told me that over and over.  Save that for your dad, just take a little.  SO, I was always hungry...lol.  Dad would often get the munchies at night and eat all of my snacks.  That is when we were finally able to afford to buy snacks.  For years we never had snacks.  We were lucky to have hot dogs and mac n cheese in a box.  Then my dad never bought me or contributed to any of the holidays for me.  He never got me a card...never gave me a gift.  Never took the time or money to do anything for me.  He did once.  That was when I was a teenager.  He bought me a radio.  I saved that thing for over 10 years!  I wore it out.  Even when the screen was no longer able to be read and I had to guess what it was doing...I still kept it and used it.  Because that was the first gift I had ever gotten from my dad.  My dad borrowed my first nice watch, a timex, when I was a kid, to use at a poker game.  He bet it, lost it, and I never got it back. Thanks dad.
      So, I want to be treated like a princess...or at least better than what my dad did.  But my husband does not get me gifts.  He does not give me things much for holidays.  When we were first together, he got his sister to buy me pink roses for valentines day.  Back then I hated pink and roses, too cliche.  (Now I take anything, as I get so little).    I want to be special to him and for him to make it a point to teach the kids how special I am.  I get the kids to pick out presents for him.  I get the kids to do cards for him.  I get the kids to help make baked goodies for him.  I am lucky to get anything...and when I do, it is usually done the night before.  He procrastinates on it everytime and gets upset that they never have anything I want.  Well, how many years does it take for someone to learn, not to wait to the last minute?  After 11 years with me and he still has not allowed himself to learn to plan ahead.  He will make every excuse in the book...but it all boils down to him not planning anything out.  "I don't have any money"  well save some next time and you will.  "They didn't have any"...well shop early and they do.  I just get tired of it.  I would not even have thought about this today except that he brought it up.  "I am going to get you something" and left.  Didn't ask what I wanted to do...just left.  Then made sure to tell me that no one had what he wanted to get me and that in our entire marriage he has never been able to get anything I like in the store.  Well, if you plan ahead of time honey, you have the option of buying online and getting anything you want.  When you procrastinate, you don't have many options.  To me that is common sense.
     I did not even expect anything from him this easter.  It is one of the biggest holidays for me...means so much.  But after last year...not even a card, I knew that I shouldn't expect anything.  I did ask him to at least make one with my son, that is what I really wanted...my kids to make one.  But there again, he did and got frustrated and flustered.  He didn't plan it, got pissed off, and left a big mess for me to clean up later.
     I would just like some recognition from my husband for the job I do.  I cook 3 meals a day...I clean everyday...I take care of our kids...I take care of him...and myself, and the animals, the home, etc.   I mean...is it asking so much to just remember me ahead of time...take the time and plan something for me for once.  I deserve that.  He knows what my parents did and what this means to me and yet he still does not take the time to show me I am special in a way that I would like.  His ways of showing someone they are special is buying diapers for me.  That doesn't really count to me....that is something we needed...not a treat for me.  You are just saving us all money cause your work is closer and your car has the better gas mileage. Period.  Not showing me how special I am.  Not treating me like a queen.