Monday, March 23, 2015

An Annointing

     I have been attending Pastor Coomer's meetings for a little while now.  I really enjoy the fellowship, Word, and the open and honest nature of the place.  It's filled with Love.  You can really feel God there.  There aren't a bunch of masks and faux-ness going's's dirty..and it's heaven down to earth.  It starts off with a meal...Pastor Coomer usually prepares it.  People serve us...or we serve them (I serve sometimes, myself...even making dessert and bringing it for everyone).  We all sit down together and enjoy the meal and fellowship.  Then people get up and do some worship praise songs to get our hearts ready for God's word.  Then we receive the Word from God.  The package that God uses varies every time.  There are a few repeaters...people who come on a semi regular basis...but often times it is someone new.  We receive the word through testimonies, through bible lessons, through varies but never enough to not be what you needed.  (Though God, thank you for helping the one man, you know who I am talking about Lord, who yells way too loudly, really hurts our ears (it's not a huge room) and gets way too bent out of shape...a little bit on the negative tip.)  It's just what I have needed.
     Saturday night I came expecting good things.  I was looking forward to getting some wisdom from God, for sure. I had chosen to spend the day with my daughter shopping and fellowshipping, instead of driving to Birmingham to listen to a minister speak at the extension school.  So I was hoping for some good stuff.  I had eaten before arriving, so I arrived a little bit later than normal. (we had a most awesome experience with a delightfully beautiful man who works the pizza liaison station at EarthFare, Corey...such a wonderful time, I hope to be able to bless him in my future.  He prepared the most perfect pizza I had ever seen.  Very tasty, too...mmm hmm.  I will be eating some more of it tonight at Left Over night ala my house.)
     I sat down next to a few of my brothers in Christ.  I love Pastor Little...he always has a warm hand and a kind smile.  I sat with him.  While the praise was going on Brian kept texting me.  Which is kind of rude.  But I found his irritation with my son Nathaniel hilarious as Nathaniel hollared, "God help me!  God help me!,"  over again as Brian refused to get him a cool shiny keychain and  took him out to the car!  Rofl...he kept calling on God to help him in his time of need!  Awesome my little man, just awesome!  The texts happened periodically throughout the service...unfortuneatley for him...not having anything better to do really.
     After the music stopped the pastor mentioned there was going to be the word given and then Phil was going to talk.  I didn't know who that was but was looking forward to it.  I don't recall if he mentioned that he was a prophet, or not.  But Mr. Phil Morgan is a prophet.  Yes indeed.
     It turns out that Phil had been there at an earlier point on the calendar and had said that things would happen in 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months.  And sure enough someone there had gotten a job opportunity at that exact time, the ministry had gotten a large donation at one of those times, and a lady had gotten a house.  There were more testimonies I am sure...but not everyone from the last meeting was there...the crowd varies each time to an extent.
    Mr. Morgan talked about the verse God had given him for us, Habakkuk 2:3   For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie; though it tarry, wait for it because it will surely come; wait for it.   That was really powerful in and of itself.  But he expounded on how God would be raising up churches in the area that are focused on the truth and not denominational dogmas and doctrines of men.  He would be bringing down, lessening the churches that are still focused on the doctrines of men.  In the end times He needs the church to be united.  Because as we know a house divided cannot stand.
    Phil prayed for a few people before me.  I prayed for them, as well...and asked God to make sure that I got to be prayed for, as well.  When I got up to the front, not everyone got prayed over, he asked me to put my hands up.  He asked me if I had a purpose, I told him I am in Bible College.  He agreed and asked if I'd been baptized in the Holy Spirit, I said yes, and he told me to pray in  tongues, I did.  He said that God has a call on my life...that I am called to be a prophet....words of wisdom and words of knowledge and that with my hands I would heal people (praise God!)...I could feel the Holy Spirit...I got warmer.  At one point I stopped speaking in tongues and just wept.  Not out of sadness...just appreciation for my lifelong dream coming true...what I had waited for my whole life, was coming to pass....such an amazing experience.  He told me to step into what God called me to my mind, I saw myself stepping..physically stepping into it.  I wanted to step for faith...but I don't know if I  Phil said that I was getting red, while this was happening...I could feel the heat in my amazing.  He anointed me.
    When my prayer was over I went back to my seat, drying my eyes and just so happy.  I totally received and do everyday, what God blessed me with.  I watched everyone else who wanted prayer get prayed for...only a few other people...maybe people are afraid of what God will say to them.  I had thought I would get a word of knowledge about my romantic life...but was so surprised and honored by what God gave me instead!  After the annointing I did not have a care about my marriage.  What happens in my romantic life doesn't matter....I have a purpose...clear finite direction!  Praise God!!!  
    I got in my car and called my bestie of 20+ years, who now loves the Lord, too, and serves Him willingly, and spilled the beans to her.  She was not in a place where she could talk...but I know she received it well.   Then when I got home I called my mom and texted my friend Patrick and Sharon and told them.  I know that they would never judge me or be jealous of the path God gave me.  Sharon even told me that she knew this same thing years ago when she read my posts on here about dreams.  That was awesome to hear!  
    You see I remember sitting on my bed, in my room, in that house on Semmes St. as a child.  Many things I would write about in my diary.  Many things would I learn in that house.  I was probably in 4th grade then when I did this.  I used to be an avid reader of books. I loved everything supernatural and had read books on esp, psychic abilities, and things like that. I always wanted to be have the ability to see things.  I had many dreams back then...I had visions and I used to have dejavu all the time.  I remember asking God if I could be a prophet.  I even think I told him I didn't want to see all the horrible gory stuff...nothing that I could not handle.  I remember thinking, would anyone believe me if I told them of something that was coming.  Now I know that God would handle that...our job is just to tell people what God wants them to hear.  And new testament prophets spend a lot of time encouraging the church for God so they can continue to do what God has called them to do.
    I am still super excited!  God is so good!  Thank you Lord for giving me my dreams.  You are the bestest Lord!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

My poetry

You can visit my site on Poemhunter and read my poems there.


    So much has happened...and yet so little.  I have finished my first year of Charis Bible College, praise God.  I am now awaiting to hear back about my acceptance into the second year program in Colorado.  That is my immediate goal and hope.
    I read a couple of my past posts and realized I had relived those posts in a loop a few more times over the past year.  Kind of a I wonder what did I not, "get"..learn that God wanted me to?  Have I learned it yet?  Or have I learned and just chosen to keep repeating out of my own stupidity?  Hmmm.
    I have found myself asking God to take away my longing to be loved by a man, if it is not His will for me to be with such a loving man as I so desire.  Not that God does not want me loved.  I digress.  But maybe now I am to learn things while I am alone in myself.  After talking to God about this, this morning, while lying in bed, with the rain scattering all around the roof...I got up and went about my day.  Now I have this sadness in my my belly. 
    Back to school, I found myself today thinking I shouldn't put all of my expectations on this move.  That it may not make everything rosy.  But then I do not want to limit God in my life.  So high expectations of God is a good thing.  I know He loves me dearly...and wants me to be full of Love and Joy.  God is the one creation that I know for sure will not let me down.  So I am going to push through and keep my bets hedged on Him and His plan for my life.
    I think this sadness in my spirit is something more...something the Holy Spirit is telling me.  Lord thank you for your wisdom and knowledge and insight into my heart, my mind, my spirit, and my life.
    I was chatting with my daughter on the way to the house after the potluck at one of the churches we go to on occassion.  (We had a really good time.  I got to hang out with some awesome older folks who were a real blessing...they were from Kings Memorial United Methodist church and were visiting with that church.) As we were almost at the house I realized that after 13 years of marriage I can honestly say I do not know my husband at all.  I mentioned that briefly to my daughter.   I know very little about him, at all.  I do not know what he'd want to happen to his body if he died, let alone where his relationship with God is at right now.  I have no idea what his goals are...where his heart's desires lie.  I know in general what kinds of foods he likes to eat...and the types of beer he likes....and his likes and dislikes on tv.  But that's not deep.  That is not deep enough to warrant 13 years of research. 
    What next? 
    I feel as though I am at a point where I have to make a decision.  All I seem to be able to muster up is finishing school, with a small hope that I'll get to move with my mom and my kids and he'll stay behind.  Because this is one of the most unfulfilling experiences I have ever had. It has been full of creature comforts being met...I have a home, a car, nice appliances to help with my cleaning, hot water, clothes, shoes, bills are all paid....but for some reason it's been damn near impossible to break out...through...(I don't know if there is another layer) to something deeper and MORE. 

Thursday, December 18, 2014

God is so me

    I have been shown my open door
    Soon I will leave
    to return no more
    Joy that binds
    Soothed transformed mind

by N. N. Story

I love this song

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

A tidbit to share

     I shared this on my facebook and realized I have not shared anything on here in quite a while and thought to share it here, as well.  Holy Spirit bring this to my rememberence every moment of every day.  I will always remember these truths that I have learned from God!

     A wonderful article from a fellow seeker who talks about how the translation is not actually 'gifts' of the spirit. And what the translation actually is, if you do the research. I did the research and found his findings to be accurate.
This leads me to the next conclusion, that when it talks about in 1 Peter 1:2-3 that we will have grace and peace from our knowledge of God...then you take what the effects of grace are, you can look at 1 Cor. 12 and also all other times grace is used it bestows kindness, love, mercy...the core of who God is...and put them back into that verse, 1 Peter 1:2...and you have something even bigger...when you have a knowledge of God you have mercy, kindness, the ability to work miracles, words of wisdom, prophecy, speaking in diverse tongues, discerning of spirits, love, charity, and anything else that falls into the grace of God. Because knowing what God has, and that He's in you, means all that God is...all that yummy goodness is within you, too!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Look Unto Me

     I have been, for years, well my entire marriage, I believe, looking for reassurances and a certain level of security, to feel like I belong and am wanted and accepted.  I have gotten it in moments here and there, but not much.  This caused me great stress and pain.  Many arguments and many difficulties.  I often have thought it would be better to be without a man, because I felt so betrayed and verbally abused by the men I have had in my life, for the most part.
    For as long as I can remember I have been seeking to better myself.  I remember being in high school and reading the Road Less Travelled.   I have always been searching for that.  God has been showing me what to do and things to do differently.  But I have been getting tired of being so hurt by the things being said to me.  Just tired of the things I would say and do after being so so hurt, too.
    After a week of what felt like non stop rejection and things gathering and gathering, something shifted and changed, praise God.  After being called a name a few times too many, it was it.   I told God I was done.  I had been working on getting back into the word and so I kept doing that.   God showed me through my lessons and bringing back to remembrance key verses I had read before, that God was my husband.  I realized that I can not look to my husband anymore for anything I need.  Maybe I should be able to, but I can not, so that point is not valid. I must rely on God.  God loves me so much and wants to show it even more I felt. So I decided to let God be my husband and for Him to love me.
    This decision has freed me.  My heart is lighter and I have more peace.  I do sometimes wish things were different.  But I must remind myself that God is making a way for my circumstances to change and be different.  I am looking forward to that.
    I do not know if I will be able to trust and open up to him again. But I am happy just knowing that God is on my side and I can get all I need from Him.  I do not need anyone else…God is my provider.  God always accepts and loves me and God always has reassurance for me in His Word.