Saturday, June 30, 2012

Dream

      I had a dream a night or so ago.  I was sitting talking with someone I used to be friends with, Lisa.  In the dream I remembered that I had heard her husband had died suddenly.  I asked her if she minded telling me what had happened, why he had died so suddenly.  Lisa told me that it was because he had cancer and it just killed him all of a sudden.  He had not known.
      Now, this man is pretty in shape.  He is built and not overweight at all.  He is in his 30's.  So that would seem odd.  And the emphasis, in the dream, was on the internal organs like the liver being attacked.
      In real life Lisa is divorced to her husband.  He had cheated on her and got the adulterer pregnant and he divorced Lisa and married her, a bartender.  The last time I saw Lisa she was engaged to be married to an IT guy.  But in the dream, it was her original husband, whom she truly adored and did so much for.  She even went all out in the bedroom for him.  She had no inhibitions, that I remember, with him in that area.  They had had a really healthy marriage from what I could tell.  He just let himself go to the bar with his buddies (not all married) and get intoxicated and the devil fed him lies and he bought them...hook line and sinker.  Lisa and he had 3 girls together, too.
      I do not know right now what the significance of the dream is.  It made me wonder about my own husband and if he was in danger of cancer.  I believe he has a fear of that since his dad died of it when he was younger.  But God is not the author of fear.  2 Timothy 1:7 says For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  We must always remember that when fear comes upon us.  We must focus on God's love for us and how much He has done for us!
      I pray that my husband accepts Jesus as his Saviour.  I really want my husband to know the love that God has for him!  I want my husband to be filled with the joy and peace that knowing God can give you.  It is so relaxing and uplifting to know God has a plan and a purpose for you.  
      I know I did not do what God planned for me in my life.  But now I do want to do what God wants me to do.  I know that He can make something awesome out of my life, even if I screwed up the first 30 years.  He loves me and His thoughts are higher than mine!  Isaiah 55:9 talks about this very thing For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.  
      God I welcome your guidance and your instruction into my life...each and every day Lord, even if I forget to ask for it, please give it to me.  I need it.  I am nothing without your love and leading.  You are so awesome and so worthy Lord!  Thank you for being so kind [(Isaiah 54:9-10 For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith theLord that hath mercy on thee.] and for being so stable and full of unending peace and love for me and for us all!   Thank you for choosing me to be your daughter Father! I am so thankful to have you as my Father Lord...my Abba Da!  Thank you!  



Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Rainbow Oreos: Celebrating God's Promise or celebrating people's sins?

    I love homosexuals, heterosexuals, and bisexuals.  I love ALL people!  God made us all and just like God, I love all people.  You as Christians are supposed to dislike sin, but love the sinner.  We are all sinners and we all have things we need to change about ourselves in order to be more like Jesus.
     With that said,  I do not support gay marriage or gay pride.  I have lifetime homosexual friends in our family circle.  We love them.  But being a homosexual is not God's best.  Being homosexual is not why God made us.  He wants us to reproduce.  Genesis 1:28 and 9:1.  You can not do that being a homosexual.  There are other examples but I don't want to get into all of that right now.
     God said that he would never bring a flood again to destroy the earth and that is why He gave us the rainbow.  Genesis chapter 9 covers all of that.  Isaiah 54:9 talks a little about the flood and how God will never be mad at us. The rainbow is a symbol of God's mercy for us.  It is not a symbol that should be associated with being proud of going against God and His best wishes for you!
    With that said, if the new rainbow oreos are about homosexuals basking in their sin, then I am totally against that and the company that is marketing them.  If the rainbow oreos are about celebrating God's love for us humans by never flooding the earth again...then right on!  I will buy stock in a company that will do that.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Awesome bible study

      We had a really good bible study tonight.  It touched on God's love for us and how we need to accept what he has graciously done with us...what God did for us made him happy!  It focused mainly in Ephesians chapter 1.  I enjoyed it.  I want a full revelation of how it made God happy to save us...to save me.  I want a full revelation of what God's hope is for me!  We talked about the prayer that Paul uses farther down in Ephesians.  "That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
18 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
19 And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power"  That was really something....it really puts what I have been asking God for into much more eloquent words....lol.
      Our teacher wants to put another ad out on tv for a hope of more attendees to the bible study.  I asked if we could go out and heal some people as a way to get them to come to the bible study.  He is going to pray on that and chew it over.  My daughter, who was with us tonight, is excited about that idea, too.  She has healed people at school herself.  I told her on the way home tonight that someone will be healed next week at bible study.  So we are getting excited expecting great things!  
      Our teacher's wife, who was not able to come due to an intestinal bug, has the ability to sense people's emotions much more strongly than most people.  I think all women have this ability to an extent.  It seems hers is more acute.  I asked if she felt anything off of me.  He said that if she had of he did not remember...it did not stand out.  I asked about my husband and he said she sensed anger.  Not the kind that would come out and be all over.  More like an undercurrent I gathered.  Interesting.  but not eye opening.  He did tell me that guys will often times say nothing is wrong because they have not figured out what is bothering them.  If the man can not logically figure it out then he will look over it or push it to the side until it makes sense.  Then once it is in a box so to speak, he will talk about it.  That made a lot more sense to me then the 'man cave' analogy I have heard about.  I really appreciate his giving me some help with that insight.  Praise God for helpful people!
      We are really excited about next week!  Yay God!  Oh, we were a little late this week but we brought some yellow cake I had made from scratch.  It is really good.  The rest I am thinking about icing and taking to the homeless luncheon tomorrow.  It just depends.  God is dealing with my frustrations with the church people eating my food.  I make it for the homeless and i have been having a hard time dealing with the church people eating what I bring for the homeless.  

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

I love this teaching

     I am really excited to share this teacher with you.  He, to me, is just as good as Mr. Wommack and really knows how to bring things to a simple speech so that you really get what the Word of God is saying.  His name is Mr. Curry Blake.  He leads John G. Lake Ministries.  He, like Dr. Blake, was able to heal.  He heals just as all Christians are able to, in Jesus' name.  He knows a lot of the Word and I am  happy to have another person to add to my list.
      This is the most recent teaching that comes from the New Man teaching.

Video streaming by Ustream
     I am really enjoying this teaching!  I am sure you all can get something from this as well.  All you have to be is born again to heal in God's name and to preach the gospel.  You do not have to be anointed, or train for years.  All you have to do is have simple belief in the Word and what it says about you.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Saggy Boobs Dream

      I had a dream last night about saggy boobs.  Mine to be exact.  In this dream I kept trying to get them back up, but nothing seemed to work.  I could not get them up, like a normal bra would get them.  I kept putting them back up, but they kept sliding back down.  They hung down a little more than in real life, too.  Not to my belly button or anything.  But it was lower than now.  In the dream I knew that breastfeeding played a part in the boob sagging.
     But I do not think the dream was about saggy boobs.  I think it had more to do with something not happening like one had hoped.  I kept lifting and they kept falling.  Some things in life can be like that...you lift it up, maybe you fix something, maybe you make progress, and it falls back down...digresses, breaks...or maybe it has to do with desires and expectations.    Expecting boobs to be up high when you have breastfed children is not realistic in the world's view.  So maybe the dream was about belief in God.  Because you may see something not working out in the 'world' but in the spirit realm you know the truth is different.  So you keep persevering and working to make the way you see it in the 'flesh' to match up with how it is supposed to be from a spiritual perspective.
      For example, in a spiritual perspective, I am not getting older, my body is not aging, and I am life...love...God...the Holy Spirit.  But in the 'worldly' perspective I have saggy boobs and stretch marks that I can look at.  It does not feel like I have eternal life. The boobs won't stay up.  But in fact I do.  I just have to look to God's Word and what He says about me.
      But back to the expectations possibility.  When you keep doing the same thing expecting different results,  it can sometimes be stupid.  But it is not stupid if you are fighting doubt and working towards believing God.  Sometimes you need to be repetitive to get your mind and body in gear with the Word.  But if it is just a general life thing...then it could have to do with my needing to break a bad habit of repetitive behavior that is not healthy for me, and has to do with unrealistic expectations.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Awesome Night

    I have been asking God for like minded people to be shown to us, that live nearby.  I have been wondering, does anyone around here follow Mr. Andrew Wommack's teachings?  Does anyone believe in the true Gospel?  My prayers were answered recently and tonight we met the family that God wants us to fellowship with!
     They are really wonderful people!  Their daughter is only 2 weeks younger than ours.  They also have a second child that is a few years apart, like ours.  They have a servants heart and are very kind and like us, have not found a church locally that believes like we all do.
    I am looking forward to seeing where God leads us with this new bible study with our brother and sisters in Christ.  I am looking forward to baking some bread for communion.  Would it be too much to make french bread for communion...with a little organic sulfite free wine?
    I am really excited...I know God has something big planned for us because the devil had been harassing us, like the fruit flies I had in my kitchen were, recently.  I told my husband that we had some really awesome things coming our way, or else we would not be getting crap from bo-bo.
     Oh, here is a great way to get rid of fruit flies (found this on an about.com page, thank you lady that posted this) is to put a cup of apple cider vinegar on the counter, or where they are, and add a little squirt or a few drops of dishwashing liquid (liquid soap).  It breaks the surface tension and they land on it and can't get out and drown.  I have 5 at the bottom of my cup.  Yay!  Little buggers.  I know God made you, but you don't need to be in our kitchen.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

God is so awesome!

     God answered my prayers, from around my last blog post.  My husband now understands me more and I understand him more and what he needs better than before.  I pray I will always look to be a better wife and better mom and a better Christian...always!
     I went ahead and registered in faith for the summer family bible conference in Colorado Springs, CO, July 4th week.  I do not know how we will pay for it, but I know God wants us to go and will make a way for it to happen!  God is just so awesome!
     We are about to start a study group that a local man is starting a couple of towns over.  It is all on Mr.
Wommack's  teachings and I am so grateful to have some like minded people near us!  Praise the Lord±! ± My control key is sticking when I± use the shift key...lol...sorry.
    Oh, with God blessing us with our new old car, I had an older woman and husband looking at it in the parking lot of a grocery store a couple of days ago.  I told them about how ±God blessed us with the car and she told me to, 'not loose that blessing'.  ±She was telling me to not forget, to remind myself how blessed I am with our Lord ±God±!  ±Amazing!  She is right!  May I never take for granted all that you have blessed me with oh Lord!
     Please God, tell me what your will is for my life.  I really want to make sure ±I am doing what you want me to do, and not my own will....only yours Lord!  Thank you Lord!  I love you!
    ±I am so excited to go to ±Colorado!±  I know it will be so much fun and a true family memory of a lifetime...it will be pivotal in our walk with ±God and our family's future.  Now to pick out a hotel.



Sunday, June 3, 2012

It has been difficult...

     I have not been the nicest person lately to my spouse. I have done really well, all around. But today I was nit picky and critical.  The only things are that I have been sleep deprived lately more than normal.  My son was sick a couple of weeks ago, he had a fever for 4.5 days.  Then this past week my daughter has been in her room with hand foot and mouth disease.  My son had a fever again yesterday.  But, praise God he was healed and is doing much better today.  He is just teething, it seems, and is needy.  But no fever.  But he did get me up at 3am.  I had had a good dream that I want to share, but at the moment am unable to write it down due to memory lapse.
     I tried to nap with my son last evening, but my husband woke me to ask if I needed anything.  I did not  get upset, I just went upstairs to bed.  Today, I was going to fall asleep on the couch with my son, but did not want a repeat of yesterday, so I told my husband I was going to go upstairs to sleep with our son.  My husband came up less than five minutes later, I just had our son to sleep, and woke him up, to ask where I put the cayenne pepper.  I was so frustrated and tired.  I kept telling him how frustrated I was, and how I just wanted to sleep, and that if he did not want to cook, he should have just told me, he did not have to wake him up.  I feel hubby is being passive aggressive.  Two days in a row he has woken me up when he knows I am not getting good sleep.  Hubby has not let me sleep in.  I have had to get up and cook every day, even though he is off in the mornings lately.  My daughter is out of school.  So I do not have to get up for her, but he won't help and let me catch up on my sleep.
     And then he seems so shocked that I am being snippy and impatient with him.  Well, I wonder why?  Men always get to sleep.  Women get short changed on our sleep so much.  And they blame pms for our moods. No, it is I have kids and you won't get your butt out of bed once or three times a week and let me sleep in, without pissing the kids off so they cry and wake me up 30 minutes later.  Arghie argh.
     Lord help me.  I am doing my best right now to not disrespect my husband.  But when he is not honoring and loving me, and I am tired and drained, it is harder than normal to be kind and sweet.  I want to.  He kept running his mouth and I did manage to walk over and when he was telling me to slap him, I just kissed him and said God loves you.
      Lord guide my husband to do what is best for our family Lord.  Because he is thinking of taking a promotion that will keep him away from home even longer.  He already is gone almost 11 hours.  He is only awake maybe 5 hours at best, at home with us.  He only gets one mean with his family a day.  He does not get time with me much anymore.  It can make you think you are second to his job, when they won't ever take a sick day to take care of you, and they are considering spending even more time at work. Money is not worth all of that.
     *I had had a vision a while back that my hubby would get promoted.  I told him that things were going to be changing at his job soon.  That was a short time ago.  Pretty amazing that it came to pass like that.  There is a big shift going on in the building where he works.
     Lord, help my husband see the priorities as you see them for his life.  I pray that he will open his heart to your will for his life and his job life.  I pray that he will be open to understanding how women are different in a good way from men and that you my Father made us to be that way!  I pray that he will follow your will and guidance and will do what is best for all of us, and not for his 'security blanket'.  That he will trust YOU for our money and not his own ability.
     Lord help me to focus on you when I get run down.  Help me to see the silver lining, the golden egg, the light in the darkness.  Help me to be more appreciative and less critical.  Help me to thank you most of all!  Help me to focus on your love for me and how much you love me and accept me!  Even when I do not feel valued or appreciated at home, thank you for showing me how much you appreciate me!  Keep showing me what to do with my life Lord. Show me how to be a better mother to my children and a better wife to my husband.  Thank you Lord.