Friday night/ Saturday morning dream and Uganda Orphanage

    I dreamed that I was somewhere...and I answered a phone, landline....corded phone.  It was a Dr. Hunt and he told me I was to get ready I was going to Africa.  He then told me to watch out for Mousalini that he was scaring people in Europe...I believe it was western Europe..the stuff to the left of Italy.
      When I got up I told my husband about the dream.  He said that that was already happening in Greece with the neonazi's there that are upset with foreigners.  I said they were upset about what the government did to their money and their country's economy...and they were thinking they did not want anyone coming and taking a job.  So, I do not know if that was what was meant in my dream. But something is going to happen over there in that region soon.
    Also, I had just go into contact with a friend in Uganda who is at an orphanage.  We are now taking up donations to go to that orphanage in Kabale.  I have a couple of photos only.  But I know the woman, she is a truthful woman.  And they are not asking for money...but little things, like powdered milk, peanut butter, jam, wet wipes,  instant coffee, story books, small inexpensive toys, shoes for the orphans...things like that. If anyone wants to help, please message me or leave a comment and I will get in touch with you.  The shipping costs more than what we are shipping to her.  Uganda is corrupt so we must send some items into Rwanda to guarantee they will get them.  Keep Sister Sev and the orphanage in your prayers please!  She will be going back to the UK to do the paperwork to get them charity status at the end of the year.
    I am so excited to be able to help them.  It seems since I have been deciding to do this I have been under attack.  I accidentally run over something in a drive thru line, a weird divider the store had up that you could not see.  It did some damage to the underside of my car.  Then I found out today at the dentist that I have two bottom teeth that have minor mobility and that I need to see an orthodontist and will probably need braces so I don't loose any teeth in the future.  That messed me up, especially with the strife that keeps popping up in our marriage. I just want peace in our home Lord.  Pray with me, anyone who reads this...for peace to be in our home, in my husband's heart...in both of our mouth's...to be focused on God and His love always.  How can we do so much good if we can not stop the strife!?!

Hotel Dream

     I had a dream about Muslims taking over a hotel.  They were going to do things similar to the mall in Kenya.  Where they tortured people over and over again.   We were trying to escape in the dream.  A man prayed with us and showed us the way to escape and told us when to go, between 1-5am...that was the best time he said.  We were afraid they would hear our car start up, but we had to leave, we could not have our families killed like in that mall.
    I really hope this does not happen.  I hope that things will die down, by God moving and shifting their hearts or by any means neccessary.  I don't want any one else to be tortured like in Kenya.  Horrible.

Destroyed Bible

     I had a really strange dream last night. My zippered burgandy bible was chewed up. I pulled it out of my purse to find it chewed on. One end, corner, was completely gnawed on and the zipper would no longer be able to close the bible. I was really distraught and did not know what to do next.  I had gotten that bible as a replacement to my well worn first bible.  That one was also a zippered bible, but was white with thumb tabs.  This burgandy one I have now, I keep in my purse, has a zipper, but no thumb tabs...but it is out of print.  The publishers are no longer in business, and so it is very special. To have it chewed up, by a dog?, is really odd, considering I rarely have it out of my purse...only when I am reading it.  I have others that I use for bible classes and night time reading.  But I had used it last night and left it on the bedside table.  I was reading in Isaiah...chapters 58-62...around in there, if my memory serves me correctly.
    I have been having a bit of a time about things lately.  I have a friend who just stopped talking to me all of a sudden.  I am not sure how to progress in that area now...how long do you wait...do you wait...do you try to make contact...for how long...and what kind of contact...what do you say...a lot of possibilities.
    I also think that dream I had about a school shooting was in reference to the SandyHook shooting that happened afterwards.  I think the fact that the shooter didn't hurt me was pointing to the fact that no one was going to get hurt at Sandy, but that it was going to be a show put on for the elite rich in our country.  Because in that dream everyone was going into a large blue auditorium...that was more like a theatre than a gymnasium.  It was for a show.  Not for anything else...that room.  It was completely round like the coliseum in Rome...but indoors and fully covered.  I was just outside of that coliseum like area, hiding in the ceiling of an area.  No one was hurt in that dream...I just thought at the time it would have meant so...because I have seen so many on tv, before, that were totally real.  But then after seeing all the footage and information out there about Sandy...that made me reevaluate that dream I had had.  Very interesting being able to look back and see what it meant, now.

Sunflowers

      I think it was last month, I would have to check to see, that this happened.  But I had a dream where God showed me an old boyfriend of mine would come to know Him.  I woke up excited and yet a little leery.  I mean, God usually wants me to get back in touch with people and share something with them when I find this out.  So, I took a minute to ponder it and kind of pushed it out of my mind.  I did not know how this person felt about me anymore...if there were hard feelings...or if I could even find them (though I know that is an excuse because God would let me find them if I was supposed to).  So, I put it out of my mind and told God to bug me if He wanted me to do it.
     And He did.  Chuckles...oh he reminded me.  Not in an all consuming way.  But gently.  I even had another dream a few nights later.  So, I couldn't find him anywhere but on facebook, so I had to create a facebook account in order to get in touch with him again.  I did and he accepted my friend request, thank God.  I thought I was supposed to send him a particular teaching by Andrew Wommack, on the True Nature of God.  But when I offered he declined.  So,  I kept things casual and cool and light and was just honest with him.  I have had a tendency with him to really want to go in depth and be really involved and to even get emotional.  On some level I still look for acceptance from him.  But I think God is showing me some things with that, as well. So I am happy to learn more about myself, as God reveals it to me.  Plus, he is not a bad man, he has a good heart.
     I was just elated when he allowed me to send him a gift for his birthday this week!  I love love love giving!   And yes, people will slap turn you down cold, even if it is for homemade chocolate syrup!  Crazy but true!  So, to find out he really liked the box I sent him and even thanked me for the bible, really made me feel good.  To know I did something right always feels good...like a pat on the back...or a fist bump.  I even got the best compliment I have had in years, too.  So,  I treated myself to some sunflowers.  I bought a small bouquet at Publix...only 3.33, but it brightens my day still and reminds me of the joys of doing what God asks us to do.

I put them in two places so I could see them more often.  The white flowers are some random thing from our garden.

Egypt Has Anti-Obama Sentiment

    See, there is more anti obama sentiment than one might think, if you watch the news.  I do not watch the news.  So, it is really intriguing to find this out.
   Here are some photos from Doug Ross@Journal.

This one is my favorite.  To know they have love for us and can sympathize with our plights, too!

Christians persecuted in Europe

    I had a dream last night that I was in Europe with a lady and we saw signs in an asian man's store and they all said "No Cristians".  There was a large anti-Christian sentiment.  I told my friend not to advertise we are Christians and that we are not supposed to anyways.  Then I scanned her front to see if any of her jewelry was crosses.  It was not.  So we went in to another diner/restaurant and sat down.  It was a mess.  All kinds of plates on the high counter were we sat down.  My friend started to clear them off and dropped a few.  They didn't break.  But I told her to stop.  Doing nice things for people will give them a hint of your believe system as people who do not believe in a living God do not do kind things for strangers.  Scary.
    Then I dreamed about my husband bending back the side view mirror on my car.  I had warned him it was going to happen, and then it did.  I then told him I would not let him drive the car again.
   

Hmm

     There is so much going on in our area of the world now.  It is kind of scary to think about.  All of the things you were brought up believing to be there your entire life...that that is what makes this such a great place to be in.  And then to find them all being taken away so quickly right under our noses and it seems like there is nothing we can do about it all.
     It is cool that it seems  I have a few people in Germany looking at my posts, as my mother in law is German.
     Had a dream about these buses.  You had to pay in order to throw something away on them.  I did not know that in the dream.  So I threw away two pieces of trash..small trash.  And was charged $1.59. Charge popped up on a computer screen above the little recepticle shoot that was next to this seat.  Very weird.  I was shocked.  No one else seemed shocked. These buses were in Atlanta. They were a lot cleaner and nicer than traditional Marta buses they have there.  I got a little money back as I had accidentally overpaid the machine because it registered the money in a strange way and it took a minute to tally up what  I put in there.  I just threw a bunch of change in it.  I did not count it.  That is different.  They looked like a cross between a bus and a car on the outside.  The back of the buses swooped down...aerodynamically.  They were fast.  But I chased one down as I had gotten left at a stop and was trying to get back on the bus because I was not yet where I needed to go yet.  I had to run down and then up to get to the bus.
   

4 Things

    I had a dream the night of the 24th where God showed me 4 things that could distract me from my following His calling on my life. Things that are cares of this world that choke the word.  The two I remember are these.  One was a man who was talking with me.  He spoke matter of factly with me.  He let me know what he was willing to give me, in terms of a relationship with me.  He would not do certain things because they were sinful.  I remember that he was willing to give me many things and that surprised me because he had not slept with me yet. I was surprised by his willingness to be kind and love me in those ways without getting that from me.   This man was muscular with long blonde hair.  But not girly.  He was very masculine.

     The second one was a man who was all about cooking.  He wanted me to meet Ming from Simply Ming.  He had shrimp to give him.  He dropped a few, maybe 4, on the floor.  I went under the table to pick them up for him, without him asking.  This man was overweight and had short brown hair and glasses.

      I then saw a shape divided into 4 squares and something in each one.  Then I woke up knowing that I was letting the things of this world distract me from God's Word, and I needed to take my class!  So I repented and first thing in the morning took my first lesson in my class.  It was mindblowing and really an amazing lesson, too!  I am so thankful God reminded me to get back on track.  Thank you God!  I am so sorry for letting cooking, and the cares of this world take over my life.  I come back to you humbly and ask you to keep me on track and help speed me along in passion and fire for you Lord as you mold me and make me usable for your will.

Tornadoes

     I had a dream the other night about possible tornadoes hitting extreme north Lauderdale county in Alabama.  This is right on the AL and TN state lines.  In the dream a man was showing me in black on the map where tornadoes might occur there.  I pray that they do not happen.  If they do, I pray no one gets hurt.  It is not heavily populated there.  But still.

Aha

     As someone at my meeting today said, we all have 'aha' moments.  Today I realized that I have some real issues stemming from my needs not being met as a child, teen, and adult.  I have issues, especially with men in my life.  My parents always put my dad's addictions first.  My needs were always put last it seemed.  Like I could never eat as much as I wanted of meat because my dad would get upset if he didn't have enough.  Well, that is what my mom taught me at an early age.  She told me that over and over.  Save that for your dad, just take a little.  SO, I was always hungry...lol.  Dad would often get the munchies at night and eat all of my snacks.  That is when we were finally able to afford to buy snacks.  For years we never had snacks.  We were lucky to have hot dogs and mac n cheese in a box.  Then my dad never bought me or contributed to any of the holidays for me.  He never got me a card...never gave me a gift.  Never took the time or money to do anything for me.  He did once.  That was when I was a teenager.  He bought me a radio.  I saved that thing for over 10 years!  I wore it out.  Even when the screen was no longer able to be read and I had to guess what it was doing...I still kept it and used it.  Because that was the first gift I had ever gotten from my dad.  My dad borrowed my first nice watch, a timex, when I was a kid, to use at a poker game.  He bet it, lost it, and I never got it back. Thanks dad.
      So, I want to be treated like a princess...or at least better than what my dad did.  But my husband does not get me gifts.  He does not give me things much for holidays.  When we were first together, he got his sister to buy me pink roses for valentines day.  Back then I hated pink and roses, too cliche.  (Now I take anything, as I get so little).    I want to be special to him and for him to make it a point to teach the kids how special I am.  I get the kids to pick out presents for him.  I get the kids to do cards for him.  I get the kids to help make baked goodies for him.  I am lucky to get anything...and when I do, it is usually done the night before.  He procrastinates on it everytime and gets upset that they never have anything I want.  Well, how many years does it take for someone to learn, not to wait to the last minute?  After 11 years with me and he still has not allowed himself to learn to plan ahead.  He will make every excuse in the book...but it all boils down to him not planning anything out.  "I don't have any money"  well save some next time and you will.  "They didn't have any"...well shop early and they do.  I just get tired of it.  I would not even have thought about this today except that he brought it up.  "I am going to get you something" and left.  Didn't ask what I wanted to do...just left.  Then made sure to tell me that no one had what he wanted to get me and that in our entire marriage he has never been able to get anything I like in the store.  Well, if you plan ahead of time honey, you have the option of buying online and getting anything you want.  When you procrastinate, you don't have many options.  To me that is common sense.
     I did not even expect anything from him this easter.  It is one of the biggest holidays for me...means so much.  But after last year...not even a card, I knew that I shouldn't expect anything.  I did ask him to at least make one with my son, that is what I really wanted...my kids to make one.  But there again, he did and got frustrated and flustered.  He didn't plan it, got pissed off, and left a big mess for me to clean up later.
     I would just like some recognition from my husband for the job I do.  I cook 3 meals a day...I clean everyday...I take care of our kids...I take care of him...and myself, and the animals, the home, etc.   I mean...is it asking so much to just remember me ahead of time...take the time and plan something for me for once.  I deserve that.  He knows what my parents did and what this means to me and yet he still does not take the time to show me I am special in a way that I would like.  His ways of showing someone they are special is buying diapers for me.  That doesn't really count to me....that is something we needed...not a treat for me.  You are just saving us all money cause your work is closer and your car has the better gas mileage. Period.  Not showing me how special I am.  Not treating me like a queen.

Where to go...

  I have been reading/meditating on John 15:11 and the surrounding verses.    So we are supposed to love one another (John 15:12)  and in doing that, putting aside our lives (John 15:13), we can be full of joy (John 15:11).  So having joy is just that simple.  But the verse says that we 'might' have his joy remain in us and we 'might' remain full of joy.  So, what is it that we need to do in order to have that joy?  I think we have to choose to have it.  I believe it is just that simple.  We could ask for it, like in John 15:16.  Or we can just believe we have it because Jesus told us it is a possibility.  And if we waver, which we are not to do (James 1:6), we can always ask God to help us with our unbelief like the father did in Mark 9:24.
     Also, to me joy is directly tied to resting in God's peace.  If we are resting in God...believing that He is taking care of everything and just enjoying the ride.  Then that lends our temperaments to be more susceptible to joy...our hearts are not hardened.
   
     I realized recently, thanks to God, that I had a lot of unforgiveness/bitterness in my heart that I needed to let go of.  I sat in bed and wrote 6 or so pages of confessing my forgiving of things that I found bothered me.  I do not want these things to rent space in my heart , thus hardening it, any more!  Hebrews 12:15 talks about how bitterness can defile many...all from one person.  If we are honest with ourselves, we can look at those we live with, or deal with regularly,  and see how our bitterness, or unforgiveness has affected them.  I can see this in my own life.  We have to be honest and real about these consequences of our choices and resolve to fix them by letting God work on those people, forgiving others, letting God heal our broken hearts (Luke 4:18), and repenting so we don't keep doing it over and over again...in that cycle the devil loves for us to be in.
    I just realized this week, actually, that I have had a part of my heart hardened.  Like I compartmentalized some feelings and they started to leak.  I started feeling feelings I had not felt in ages!  I actually started to listen to music again.  I am still unsure if that is the best thing for me, as music is a very powerful tool and can be used to sway your thoughts and emotions, often times to things that we really should not be thinking about, if we are trully honest with ourselves.  But I have been laughing again.  I have been smiling more.  I have been looking forward to things.  I am just starting to pick at understanding what is going on with me.  God is sharing it with me, bit by bit, in a way that I can handle. for He knows me best.
     God has been helping me realize some things in my marriage that I need to work on.  Learning respectful behaviour for one.  I am realizing that it is actually something I know how to do.  I have known how to do it.  I just have not done it.  I have some hurts from long ago that need to be healed.
      I have been longing to be appreciated and loved.  I have asked God for love...to feel His love.  To know how much He loves me.   I have been shown things in the Word.  But I have felt very cold in a lot of aspects of my life.  I know there is more passion and fire for God and my fellow man out there.  But why do I not have it?  God brought me in contact again with a dear friend from my past.  I started to feel appreciated and adored.  That is something I have not felt in over a decade.  (I have tears starting)  I am embarrassed to say that.  Almost like I have been living a lie.  I don't know if to others, myself, to God, or my husband, or everyone involved.   I am just soaking up the positive feedback like you would not believe.  Over the years it seems I have gotten way more negative feedback than ever positive feedback.  I have shut down on a certain level and am not open to certain feelings with the people that have done this to me.  I love them.  I do.  But the love is not God's best.  And the love is not the kind of love I enjoy most.  It is not full of spontaneity and passion and laughter and affection and beauty.  This love travels a flat line.  It swerves to miss the potholes of anger and resentment.  In these swervings it does occassionally hit some sweet spots in the road.  But overall, it is not anything memorable.  It does not put in my heart happy fulfilling memories.  Things to tell your kids and grandkids about.  
     I miss the laughter and kindness and the gentle fun love that God has put in my spirit.  I want that in my day to day life.  I do not know if I can have that with the people who hurt me.  To be honest, I do not know if I want to.  I know God can make anything happen...if I want it He will work it out for me to find that peace and joy.  But do I want it this way.  What are my alternatives?  Where to go from here?
    Pray and wait on God and the Holy Spirit to lead me in peace.

Economic Collapse

      Unfortunately, I had a dream about the economic collapse of the United States.  I was in a room.  A woman across from me answered the phone and she listened.  She then told me that the United States economy has begun to collapse and it started in South Dakota.  I believe I was given a town name also, but do not remember.  I apologize.  I was devastated to hear that news!  I immediately thought of my mother and her job and that that would mean she might loose her job and we would be homeless.  Of course I do not live with my mother any longer.  But that was what was said in the dream.  It really shook me. I woke and did not go back to sleep.  It was morning time any how.  
      This has been the most bothersome of all of my dreams.  For I do not know how it will affect my family and I.  I just have to remind myself of God's faithfulness and that He will give me favor among me and will take care of and protect and provide for my family and I no matter what happens to our country's economy.  I love our United States of America.  I do not want our economy to  collapse or our country to become desolate...there are so many neigh sayers in the media and the world now!  I believe in our country.  I rebuke all of the negativity and neigh saying out there....our country is not being judged.  God loves the United States of America.

Burnt Mc Donalds

   I had a dream last night of a fast food restaurant being burnt down.  It was a shell of what it was.  I saw the people that owned it and worked there.  There was one person who was not there and that was because they were late to work. The owners were a black family.  I do not know if they were black because of the fire, like symbolizing they were burned, or not.  Have to wait and see what comes up.

Tornadoes

    I had a dream last night about tornadoes.  There is going to be some soon.  I hope that everyone in the TN valley and the south in general (where it has been so warm)  will take precautions and be careful.  I was shown on a map where it will happen.  It will go from north to south, the line of storms.  There was mention of a low pressure system.

Why

       I was awakened this morning around 2:30am or so.  I do not know why.  I also was awakened with the question of why did I come back.  You see, my husband packed a bag last weekend and said he was leaving, he has done this at least once a month for a while now.  Then yesterday he told me to leave.  So I went to mom's for a few hours and came back.  But why did I come back.  Why.
      Are my kids going to grow up in a similar unstable environment that we did?  My husband's parents fought all the time.  My parents fought all the time.  My husband threatening divorce so often has torn me and my daughter apart.  It is too much.
       For the first time I ever remember, I can not sleep, and I just keep wondering why did I come back.  Maybe I am not supposed to be back here.  Maybe I was supposed to stay gone and stay away.

Dad dream

    I had a weird dream with my dad in it.  He was on my left side.  There was someone on my right side.  There was a female showing us around this town.  It was very unique.  There were some neat innovations and they advertised things around town in unique ways.  It was very plant based.  I was complimenting the female on the town and how much I loved it.  She took us to the left side of the street to where these shops came close together.  Some on each side.  But it was too narrow for a wheelchair to get through.  I thought that was crappy, it was not wheelchair accessible. She wanted to show us the souvenir shop on the right side.  She asked how many of this particular card would we, the lady to my right, and I would need.  Four each.  They were in regards to helping people somehow.  Holy Spirit help me to remember what they were for.  I remember holding them and something else small in my hand.  Then my Dad wanted to see them. I did not want to show him.  His wheelchair kept slipping back and hitting me every time I went to go forward.  He kept hurting me.  I told him to put the brake on his wheelchair because he is hurting me and I don't like it.  He didn't seem too concerned and he still wanted my cards.  I think I eventually let him hold them.  I didn't like it though.

Potty

      Night before last I dreamed that our son went to the potty on his own for the first time.  Then yesterday it happened!  Super cool to have a dream come true so soon after you dream it.  I was just so tickled that he tee-teed in the potty, I didn't tell anyone about the dream. Because the dream doesn't really matter...just the fact that my man grew up a little bit more yesterday!  He even did it when daddy got home from work, too...so he got to experience that first hand!  Really cool time tied in with a dream.