An Annointing

     I have been attending Pastor Coomer's meetings for a little while now.  I really enjoy the fellowship, Word, and the open and honest nature of the place.  It's filled with Love.  You can really feel God there.  There aren't a bunch of masks and faux-ness going on....it's real...it's dirty..and it's heaven down to earth.  It starts off with a meal...Pastor Coomer usually prepares it.  People serve us...or we serve them (I serve sometimes, myself...even making dessert and bringing it for everyone).  We all sit down together and enjoy the meal and fellowship.  Then people get up and do some worship praise songs to get our hearts ready for God's word.  Then we receive the Word from God.  The package that God uses varies every time.  There are a few repeaters...people who come on a semi regular basis...but often times it is someone new.  We receive the word through testimonies, through bible lessons, through sermons...it varies but never enough to not be what you needed.  (Though God, thank you for helping the one man, you know who I am talking about Lord, who yells way too loudly, really hurts our ears (it's not a huge room) and gets way too bent out of shape...a little bit on the negative tip.)  It's just what I have needed.
     Saturday night I came expecting good things.  I was looking forward to getting some wisdom from God, for sure. I had chosen to spend the day with my daughter shopping and fellowshipping, instead of driving to Birmingham to listen to a minister speak at the extension school.  So I was hoping for some good stuff.  I had eaten before arriving, so I arrived a little bit later than normal. (we had a most awesome experience with a delightfully beautiful man who works the pizza liaison station at EarthFare, Corey...such a wonderful time, I hope to be able to bless him in my future.  He prepared the most perfect pizza I had ever seen.  Very tasty, too...mmm hmm.  I will be eating some more of it tonight at Left Over night ala my house.)
     I sat down next to a few of my brothers in Christ.  I love Pastor Little...he always has a warm hand and a kind smile.  I sat with him.  While the praise was going on Brian kept texting me.  Which is kind of rude.  But I found his irritation with my son Nathaniel hilarious as Nathaniel hollared, "God help me!  God help me!,"  over again as Brian refused to get him a cool shiny keychain and  took him out to the car!  Rofl...he kept calling on God to help him in his time of need!  Awesome my little man, just awesome!  The texts happened periodically throughout the service...unfortuneatley for him...not having anything better to do really.
     After the music stopped the pastor mentioned there was going to be the word given and then Phil was going to talk.  I didn't know who that was but was looking forward to it.  I don't recall if he mentioned that he was a prophet, or not.  But Mr. Phil Morgan is a prophet.  Yes indeed.
     It turns out that Phil had been there at an earlier point on the calendar and had said that things would happen in 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months.  And sure enough someone there had gotten a job opportunity at that exact time, the ministry had gotten a large donation at one of those times, and a lady had gotten a house.  There were more testimonies I am sure...but not everyone from the last meeting was there...the crowd varies each time to an extent.
    Mr. Morgan talked about the verse God had given him for us, Habakkuk 2:3   For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie; though it tarry, wait for it because it will surely come; wait for it.   That was really powerful in and of itself.  But he expounded on how God would be raising up churches in the area that are focused on the truth and not denominational dogmas and doctrines of men.  He would be bringing down, lessening the churches that are still focused on the doctrines of men.  In the end times He needs the church to be united.  Because as we know a house divided cannot stand.
    Phil prayed for a few people before me.  I prayed for them, as well...and asked God to make sure that I got to be prayed for, as well.  When I got up to the front, not everyone got prayed over, he asked me to put my hands up.  He asked me if I had a purpose, I told him I am in Bible College.  He agreed and asked if I'd been baptized in the Holy Spirit, I said yes, and he told me to pray in  tongues, I did.  He said that God has a call on my life...that I am called to be a prophet....words of wisdom and words of knowledge and that with my hands I would heal people (praise God!)...I could feel the Holy Spirit...I got warmer.  At one point I stopped speaking in tongues and just wept.  Not out of sadness...just appreciation for my lifelong dream coming true...what I had waited for my whole life, was coming to pass....such an amazing experience.  He told me to step into what God called me to do....in my mind, I saw myself stepping..physically stepping into it.  I wanted to step for real...in faith...but I don't know if I did...lol.  Phil said that I was getting red, while this was happening...I could feel the heat in my hands...so amazing.  He anointed me.
    When my prayer was over I went back to my seat, drying my eyes and just so happy.  I totally received and do everyday, what God blessed me with.  I watched everyone else who wanted prayer get prayed for...only a few other people...maybe people are afraid of what God will say to them.  I had thought I would get a word of knowledge about my romantic life...but was so surprised and honored by what God gave me instead!  After the annointing I did not have a care about my marriage.  What happens in my romantic life doesn't matter....I have a purpose...clear finite direction!  Praise God!!!  
    I got in my car and called my bestie of 20+ years, who now loves the Lord, too, and serves Him willingly, and spilled the beans to her.  She was not in a place where she could talk...but I know she received it well.   Then when I got home I called my mom and texted my friend Patrick and Sharon and told them.  I know that they would never judge me or be jealous of the path God gave me.  Sharon even told me that she knew this same thing years ago when she read my posts on here about dreams.  That was awesome to hear!  
    You see I remember sitting on my bed, in my room, in that house on Semmes St. as a child.  Many things I would write about in my diary.  Many things would I learn in that house.  I was probably in 4th grade then when I did this.  I used to be an avid reader of books. I loved everything supernatural and had read books on esp, psychic abilities, and things like that. I always wanted to be psychic...to have the ability to see things.  I had many dreams back then...I had visions and I used to have dejavu all the time.  I remember asking God if I could be a prophet.  I even think I told him I didn't want to see all the horrible gory stuff...nothing that I could not handle.  I remember thinking, would anyone believe me if I told them of something that was coming.  Now I know that God would handle that...our job is just to tell people what God wants them to hear.  And new testament prophets spend a lot of time encouraging the church for God so they can continue to do what God has called them to do.
    I am still super excited!  God is so good!  Thank you Lord for giving me my dreams.  You are the bestest Lord!

A tidbit to share

     I shared this on my facebook and realized I have not shared anything on here in quite a while and thought to share it here, as well.  Holy Spirit bring this to my rememberence every moment of every day.  I will always remember these truths that I have learned from God!

     A wonderful article from a fellow seeker who talks about how the translation is not actually 'gifts' of the spirit. And what the translation actually is, if you do the research. I did the research and found his findings to be accurate. http://www.wiebefamily.org/spiritual_gifts.htm
This leads me to the next conclusion, that when it talks about in 1 Peter 1:2-3 that we will have grace and peace from our knowledge of God...then you take what the effects of grace are, you can look at 1 Cor. 12 and also all other times grace is used it bestows kindness, love, mercy...the core of who God is...and put them back into that verse, 1 Peter 1:2...and you have something even bigger...when you have a knowledge of God you have mercy, kindness, the ability to work miracles, words of wisdom, prophecy, speaking in diverse tongues, discerning of spirits, love, charity, and anything else that falls into the grace of God. Because knowing what God has, and that He's in you, means all that God is...all that yummy goodness is within you, too!

Look Unto Me

     I have been, for years, well my entire marriage, I believe, looking for reassurances and a certain level of security, to feel like I belong and am wanted and accepted.  I have gotten it in moments here and there, but not much.  This caused me great stress and pain.  Many arguments and many difficulties.  I often have thought it would be better to be without a man, because I felt so betrayed and verbally abused by the men I have had in my life, for the most part.
    For as long as I can remember I have been seeking to better myself.  I remember being in high school and reading the Road Less Travelled.   I have always been searching for that.  God has been showing me what to do and things to do differently.  But I have been getting tired of being so hurt by the things being said to me.  Just tired of the things I would say and do after being so so hurt, too.
    After a week of what felt like non stop rejection and things gathering and gathering, something shifted and changed, praise God.  After being called a name a few times too many, it was it.   I told God I was done.  I had been working on getting back into the word and so I kept doing that.   God showed me through my lessons and bringing back to remembrance key verses I had read before, that God was my husband.  I realized that I can not look to my husband anymore for anything I need.  Maybe I should be able to, but I can not, so that point is not valid. I must rely on God.  God loves me so much and wants to show it even more I felt. So I decided to let God be my husband and for Him to love me.
    This decision has freed me.  My heart is lighter and I have more peace.  I do sometimes wish things were different.  But I must remind myself that God is making a way for my circumstances to change and be different.  I am looking forward to that.
    I do not know if I will be able to trust and open up to him again. But I am happy just knowing that God is on my side and I can get all I need from Him.  I do not need anyone else…God is my provider.  God always accepts and loves me and God always has reassurance for me in His Word.
`

Sunflowers

      I think it was last month, I would have to check to see, that this happened.  But I had a dream where God showed me an old boyfriend of mine would come to know Him.  I woke up excited and yet a little leery.  I mean, God usually wants me to get back in touch with people and share something with them when I find this out.  So, I took a minute to ponder it and kind of pushed it out of my mind.  I did not know how this person felt about me anymore...if there were hard feelings...or if I could even find them (though I know that is an excuse because God would let me find them if I was supposed to).  So, I put it out of my mind and told God to bug me if He wanted me to do it.
     And He did.  Chuckles...oh he reminded me.  Not in an all consuming way.  But gently.  I even had another dream a few nights later.  So, I couldn't find him anywhere but on facebook, so I had to create a facebook account in order to get in touch with him again.  I did and he accepted my friend request, thank God.  I thought I was supposed to send him a particular teaching by Andrew Wommack, on the True Nature of God.  But when I offered he declined.  So,  I kept things casual and cool and light and was just honest with him.  I have had a tendency with him to really want to go in depth and be really involved and to even get emotional.  On some level I still look for acceptance from him.  But I think God is showing me some things with that, as well. So I am happy to learn more about myself, as God reveals it to me.  Plus, he is not a bad man, he has a good heart.
     I was just elated when he allowed me to send him a gift for his birthday this week!  I love love love giving!   And yes, people will slap turn you down cold, even if it is for homemade chocolate syrup!  Crazy but true!  So, to find out he really liked the box I sent him and even thanked me for the bible, really made me feel good.  To know I did something right always feels good...like a pat on the back...or a fist bump.  I even got the best compliment I have had in years, too.  So,  I treated myself to some sunflowers.  I bought a small bouquet at Publix...only 3.33, but it brightens my day still and reminds me of the joys of doing what God asks us to do.

I put them in two places so I could see them more often.  The white flowers are some random thing from our garden.

Where to go...

  I have been reading/meditating on John 15:11 and the surrounding verses.    So we are supposed to love one another (John 15:12)  and in doing that, putting aside our lives (John 15:13), we can be full of joy (John 15:11).  So having joy is just that simple.  But the verse says that we 'might' have his joy remain in us and we 'might' remain full of joy.  So, what is it that we need to do in order to have that joy?  I think we have to choose to have it.  I believe it is just that simple.  We could ask for it, like in John 15:16.  Or we can just believe we have it because Jesus told us it is a possibility.  And if we waver, which we are not to do (James 1:6), we can always ask God to help us with our unbelief like the father did in Mark 9:24.
     Also, to me joy is directly tied to resting in God's peace.  If we are resting in God...believing that He is taking care of everything and just enjoying the ride.  Then that lends our temperaments to be more susceptible to joy...our hearts are not hardened.
   
     I realized recently, thanks to God, that I had a lot of unforgiveness/bitterness in my heart that I needed to let go of.  I sat in bed and wrote 6 or so pages of confessing my forgiving of things that I found bothered me.  I do not want these things to rent space in my heart , thus hardening it, any more!  Hebrews 12:15 talks about how bitterness can defile many...all from one person.  If we are honest with ourselves, we can look at those we live with, or deal with regularly,  and see how our bitterness, or unforgiveness has affected them.  I can see this in my own life.  We have to be honest and real about these consequences of our choices and resolve to fix them by letting God work on those people, forgiving others, letting God heal our broken hearts (Luke 4:18), and repenting so we don't keep doing it over and over again...in that cycle the devil loves for us to be in.
    I just realized this week, actually, that I have had a part of my heart hardened.  Like I compartmentalized some feelings and they started to leak.  I started feeling feelings I had not felt in ages!  I actually started to listen to music again.  I am still unsure if that is the best thing for me, as music is a very powerful tool and can be used to sway your thoughts and emotions, often times to things that we really should not be thinking about, if we are trully honest with ourselves.  But I have been laughing again.  I have been smiling more.  I have been looking forward to things.  I am just starting to pick at understanding what is going on with me.  God is sharing it with me, bit by bit, in a way that I can handle. for He knows me best.
     God has been helping me realize some things in my marriage that I need to work on.  Learning respectful behaviour for one.  I am realizing that it is actually something I know how to do.  I have known how to do it.  I just have not done it.  I have some hurts from long ago that need to be healed.
      I have been longing to be appreciated and loved.  I have asked God for love...to feel His love.  To know how much He loves me.   I have been shown things in the Word.  But I have felt very cold in a lot of aspects of my life.  I know there is more passion and fire for God and my fellow man out there.  But why do I not have it?  God brought me in contact again with a dear friend from my past.  I started to feel appreciated and adored.  That is something I have not felt in over a decade.  (I have tears starting)  I am embarrassed to say that.  Almost like I have been living a lie.  I don't know if to others, myself, to God, or my husband, or everyone involved.   I am just soaking up the positive feedback like you would not believe.  Over the years it seems I have gotten way more negative feedback than ever positive feedback.  I have shut down on a certain level and am not open to certain feelings with the people that have done this to me.  I love them.  I do.  But the love is not God's best.  And the love is not the kind of love I enjoy most.  It is not full of spontaneity and passion and laughter and affection and beauty.  This love travels a flat line.  It swerves to miss the potholes of anger and resentment.  In these swervings it does occassionally hit some sweet spots in the road.  But overall, it is not anything memorable.  It does not put in my heart happy fulfilling memories.  Things to tell your kids and grandkids about.  
     I miss the laughter and kindness and the gentle fun love that God has put in my spirit.  I want that in my day to day life.  I do not know if I can have that with the people who hurt me.  To be honest, I do not know if I want to.  I know God can make anything happen...if I want it He will work it out for me to find that peace and joy.  But do I want it this way.  What are my alternatives?  Where to go from here?
    Pray and wait on God and the Holy Spirit to lead me in peace.

Rainbow Oreos: Celebrating God's Promise or celebrating people's sins?

    I love homosexuals, heterosexuals, and bisexuals.  I love ALL people!  God made us all and just like God, I love all people.  You as Christians are supposed to dislike sin, but love the sinner.  We are all sinners and we all have things we need to change about ourselves in order to be more like Jesus.
     With that said,  I do not support gay marriage or gay pride.  I have lifetime homosexual friends in our family circle.  We love them.  But being a homosexual is not God's best.  Being homosexual is not why God made us.  He wants us to reproduce.  Genesis 1:28 and 9:1.  You can not do that being a homosexual.  There are other examples but I don't want to get into all of that right now.
     God said that he would never bring a flood again to destroy the earth and that is why He gave us the rainbow.  Genesis chapter 9 covers all of that.  Isaiah 54:9 talks a little about the flood and how God will never be mad at us. The rainbow is a symbol of God's mercy for us.  It is not a symbol that should be associated with being proud of going against God and His best wishes for you!
    With that said, if the new rainbow oreos are about homosexuals basking in their sin, then I am totally against that and the company that is marketing them.  If the rainbow oreos are about celebrating God's love for us humans by never flooding the earth again...then right on!  I will buy stock in a company that will do that.

God is so awesome!

     God answered my prayers, from around my last blog post.  My husband now understands me more and I understand him more and what he needs better than before.  I pray I will always look to be a better wife and better mom and a better Christian...always!
     I went ahead and registered in faith for the summer family bible conference in Colorado Springs, CO, July 4th week.  I do not know how we will pay for it, but I know God wants us to go and will make a way for it to happen!  God is just so awesome!
     We are about to start a study group that a local man is starting a couple of towns over.  It is all on Mr.
Wommack's  teachings and I am so grateful to have some like minded people near us!  Praise the Lord±! ± My control key is sticking when I± use the shift key...lol...sorry.
    Oh, with God blessing us with our new old car, I had an older woman and husband looking at it in the parking lot of a grocery store a couple of days ago.  I told them about how ±God blessed us with the car and she told me to, 'not loose that blessing'.  ±She was telling me to not forget, to remind myself how blessed I am with our Lord ±God±!  ±Amazing!  She is right!  May I never take for granted all that you have blessed me with oh Lord!
     Please God, tell me what your will is for my life.  I really want to make sure ±I am doing what you want me to do, and not my own will....only yours Lord!  Thank you Lord!  I love you!
    ±I am so excited to go to ±Colorado!±  I know it will be so much fun and a true family memory of a lifetime...it will be pivotal in our walk with ±God and our family's future.  Now to pick out a hotel.

It has been difficult...

     I have not been the nicest person lately to my spouse. I have done really well, all around. But today I was nit picky and critical.  The only things are that I have been sleep deprived lately more than normal.  My son was sick a couple of weeks ago, he had a fever for 4.5 days.  Then this past week my daughter has been in her room with hand foot and mouth disease.  My son had a fever again yesterday.  But, praise God he was healed and is doing much better today.  He is just teething, it seems, and is needy.  But no fever.  But he did get me up at 3am.  I had had a good dream that I want to share, but at the moment am unable to write it down due to memory lapse.
     I tried to nap with my son last evening, but my husband woke me to ask if I needed anything.  I did not  get upset, I just went upstairs to bed.  Today, I was going to fall asleep on the couch with my son, but did not want a repeat of yesterday, so I told my husband I was going to go upstairs to sleep with our son.  My husband came up less than five minutes later, I just had our son to sleep, and woke him up, to ask where I put the cayenne pepper.  I was so frustrated and tired.  I kept telling him how frustrated I was, and how I just wanted to sleep, and that if he did not want to cook, he should have just told me, he did not have to wake him up.  I feel hubby is being passive aggressive.  Two days in a row he has woken me up when he knows I am not getting good sleep.  Hubby has not let me sleep in.  I have had to get up and cook every day, even though he is off in the mornings lately.  My daughter is out of school.  So I do not have to get up for her, but he won't help and let me catch up on my sleep.
     And then he seems so shocked that I am being snippy and impatient with him.  Well, I wonder why?  Men always get to sleep.  Women get short changed on our sleep so much.  And they blame pms for our moods. No, it is I have kids and you won't get your butt out of bed once or three times a week and let me sleep in, without pissing the kids off so they cry and wake me up 30 minutes later.  Arghie argh.
     Lord help me.  I am doing my best right now to not disrespect my husband.  But when he is not honoring and loving me, and I am tired and drained, it is harder than normal to be kind and sweet.  I want to.  He kept running his mouth and I did manage to walk over and when he was telling me to slap him, I just kissed him and said God loves you.
      Lord guide my husband to do what is best for our family Lord.  Because he is thinking of taking a promotion that will keep him away from home even longer.  He already is gone almost 11 hours.  He is only awake maybe 5 hours at best, at home with us.  He only gets one mean with his family a day.  He does not get time with me much anymore.  It can make you think you are second to his job, when they won't ever take a sick day to take care of you, and they are considering spending even more time at work. Money is not worth all of that.
     *I had had a vision a while back that my hubby would get promoted.  I told him that things were going to be changing at his job soon.  That was a short time ago.  Pretty amazing that it came to pass like that.  There is a big shift going on in the building where he works.
     Lord, help my husband see the priorities as you see them for his life.  I pray that he will open his heart to your will for his life and his job life.  I pray that he will be open to understanding how women are different in a good way from men and that you my Father made us to be that way!  I pray that he will follow your will and guidance and will do what is best for all of us, and not for his 'security blanket'.  That he will trust YOU for our money and not his own ability.
     Lord help me to focus on you when I get run down.  Help me to see the silver lining, the golden egg, the light in the darkness.  Help me to be more appreciative and less critical.  Help me to thank you most of all!  Help me to focus on your love for me and how much you love me and accept me!  Even when I do not feel valued or appreciated at home, thank you for showing me how much you appreciate me!  Keep showing me what to do with my life Lord. Show me how to be a better mother to my children and a better wife to my husband.  Thank you Lord.

Dream about my daughter

      I had a dream this morning about my daughter.  She had cut things out of some old books I had.  They were 1950's era magazines/soft bound type books.  She had cut out different women in their retro outfits.  I could see through the magazines there were so many cut out.  I was upset about what she had done, but I do not remember going ape about it in the dream. That was a thing to remember. There were two of these books, too.
      In day time my dad had told me he has some 1906 and '07 magazines for me.  2 to be exact that he is going to mail to me when he gets the money.  So, some could be a reference to that.  I think it could also be a reference to my daughter seeking what kind of woman she wants to be and trying out different models.
     Today was the first day, thank my God, that my daughter did not get really upset with me in the morning!  It was so awesome to have her go to school in a good mood with me, for a blessed change!  Thank you God for a wonderful start of a new day!  I made sure when I picked her up to let her know how much it meant to me that she had behaved SO well!
    The Holy Spirit is telling me the real things that are bothering my daughter, too, now.  For instance, when she went to go look at the lunch menu for school and decide if she wanted it or to make her lunch, she chose the school lunch.  God told me that she just didn't' want to make it herself. So, I asked her, and she admitted she just didn't want to make it herself.  I told her I would help her in the morning and that a little effort is worth her good health, that she is worth the effort.  Which she is.  Those school lunches are awful when it comes to the processed meat that the federal government calls food.  That is not real meat and I don't like her eating that junk.  Thank you Lord for making sure we have healthy meat to eat at home, at the very least!

God is so awesome!

Take the LIMITS OFF OF GOD!

I strongly recommend you to watch Mr. Wommack's teachings on Don't Limit God times 10!  It is powerful...I cried today, it is that good.  If you come across this post after this week, then look it up in his archive.  It is all free.  We love that about him!   http://www.awmi.net/tv/this_week

You can also find the free audio download here http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1076

The Fury!

This is my early mother's day gift.  It really is a blessing from God, I give him all of the credit for giving us the blessed car!   We were really in need of a new vehicle. My husband's car to drive to work in had been on it's last leg and my car was just too small for our growing family! 

 This is a 1966 Plymouth Fury III.  It had only 93k miles original when we bought it. It has a completely original interior in immaculate condition!  It has spent it's entire life in this city that we live in!  

The original owner bought the car for his wife.  When she passed he put it in the garage until he died 20 years later.  His neighbor bought the car and owned it for 2 years...a wonderful Christian man who loves helping the homeless and even has a clothes closet in his home! Him and his wife do their laundry, feed them, and have some that even call and come by when they are on the rails in town! Great people who love to serve others!  I was so glad to meet them.  

They sold it to us at a wonderful price that was such a blessing because we did not want to go against God's Word and get way into debt again.  We were able to secure a very small loan and yet have a safe beautiful dream car to drive around in every day!  Yes this is my daily driver!  

God is so awesome!  We had been praying and waiting to find the right car for a year or more!  God is so right on time, too!  

I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband who gave me this blessed car and took the one I used to drive as his own!  What husband's let their wives have the best car anymore?  Mine does!

Check in the Mail

      I had a dream today that I would get a twenty five dollar check in the mail soon.  That is cool.
       Then in a dream my mom said that she would bring my dad to see us because something favorable had happened for her.  That would be interesting, as right now, she does not seem to be favoring that kind of outcome.  But God works on people, so I am excited to see that work out.
      There is another one I had a few days ago that I meant to put down.  I will come back and post it when the Holy Spirit brings it back to my remembrance.

Gas Prices

      God showed me in a dream, a while back, that gas prices were going to go down to $3.25 a gallon.  Then they dropped all the way to $3.28 here and rose back up.  But, they are going back down, just like He said they would!  I am excited to post a picture of that coming true!